Where I Stood
by ReginaCaelum
Summary: Please don't be in love with someone else. Of duty, love, and doing what's right. Zutara one-shot


**Disclaimer: disclaimed**

**As much as I love Legend of Korra, the ending to Zuko and Katara's story breaks my heart. They were the first couple I really loved, and I hope I do them justice. **

**Suggested music: "Where I Stood" by Missy Higgins**

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><p>Her face is more lined than it used to be, weathered by years of travelling. The hair loopies he dimply remembers are long gone and chestnut curls tumble in waves down to her slim waist. She moves more stiffly in age, yet somehow continues to evoke that fluid grace streaming from her element.<p>

Despite everything, her eyes are still bright and clear. She is still Katara.

"Hey there," she says quietly, a half-smile tugging at her lips.

He returns it. "Hey yourself."

An expectant silence hangs in the air. "So," she begins, "I haven't, uh, said congratulations yet." White teeth latch onto a pale pink lip. "So, uh, congrats. Yeah."

A silent sigh of amusement escapes him at her awkwardness. "Thank you," he says neutrally, and gestures to her stomach. "Same to you."

Blue eyes widen momentarily in surprise. "You know…?" A stony expression overtakes her face. "Oh. He told you." Neither need to ask who _he _is.

"Yeah," he replies in the same tone of voice. "He was very…"

"Pushy?" she offers, and he nods. "Yeah; Aang's…ecstatic."

He regards her with sharp eyes. "And you?"

She sighs and does not meet his eyes. "I think…I am too. I mean, I love babies." Clear eyes flicker delicately to his face. "You know?"

After a pregnant pause he offers her a small smile and says, "You'll be a good mother."

"Thanks," she murmurs shyly, and brushes a lock of hair out of her face. "What about you?" she asks, a hint of emotion leaking through.

He thinks for a moment, and eventually admits, "I'm happy." She looks away, but he amends quietly, "As happy as I can be."

Her heart is somewhere between her chest and stomach. As selfish as it is, she wants him to remember her, in a way that can't be tied to Mai. The waterbender wants that heartbreak, that pain to be her mark on him, something that the future Fire Lady can never repair.

"You will—you _are _a good leader," she assures him, and hesitantly acknowledges, "Mai will be too."

He nods, neither of them able to deny it. "She's what the country needs." Golden eyes slant at her. "Just as you are what Aang needs."

Tanned hands grip the banister as she fights back sudden tears. Below them, nobles and masters and dignitaries and diplomats mill around, expressions genial and words light. At the center of the well-dressed crowd is Mai, looking lighter than Katara has ever seen her. The pale woman, as if she can feel eyes on her, looks up. At seeing her fiancé in such close proximity with his rumored lover her expression darkens slightly. It's the same look Aang gets when Zuko and his wife are speaking.

"Does she know?" Katara asks in a whisper.

He snorts in bleak humor. "I'm sure." The pain on Mai's face hits him like a tidal wave, and the enormity of his feelings crash down upon him. "I never wanted this," he whispers.

She didn't either, but he knows that. So she comforts him in the only way she can with so many people around. "I know."

"Does it…" he begins hesitantly, and licks his lips, "Does it get easier?"

To his surprise—except not really; they've always thought somewhere on the same wavelength—she doesn't have to ask what he means. "To pretend you're in love?" A bitter, short chuckle breathes through her lips. "Yeah. It does."

That doesn't make him feel better, but it doesn't make him feel worse.

Sorrowful blue eyes flash to his. "But my feelings have never faded," she informs him quietly and strongly, "And I don't think they ever will."

"Mine won't either," he vows, then falters, "Katara, I—I don't know—"

"Just do what you're doing now," she interrupts, desperation clinging to every syllable, "You were friends before; that helps." Without thinking, she blurts out, "Sex is the easy part."

For a second, his expression is murderous, and she winces. But almost immediately he relaxes to neutrality.

His scar is still dark and sad, but it doesn't define him now, not like it did so long ago. His eyes are calculating but lack the passion that defined his youth; now they are filled with a cold pragmatism that defines him as a good leader. He holds himself not with desperation, but with calm confidence.

He is not the Zuko she fell in love with, but she still loves him with everything she has.

But they are both dutiful to a fault, too concerned with what is right rather than what should be.

"I wish it didn't have to be like this," she chokes out.

Now it's his turn to murmur, "I know."

Aang is coming up the stairs and Mai is looking at Zuko. They have to go, just like always. One last time they lock gazes, saying everything. All the "I loves you"s and "I'm sorry"s and sweet nothings pass between them.

"Goodbye, Zuko," she whispers.

His eyes are dark, but duty bids him say, "Goodbye, Katara."

She feels Mai's eyes on her as she walks regally to Aang. For a moment, the waterbender's bright eyes meet the noblewoman's dark ones, and they exchange cool, polite nods. They know everything they need to know about each other. Both politicians know what will happen from here: Mai will marry Zuko and be crowned Fire Lady and will make her country happy and whole. Katara will give Aang a child and will be his companion forever. Both women will never make their respective husbands happy, one because she isn't who he wants, and the other because she'll always want someone else.

They know this, and yet they continue. They have to.

As she reaches Aang, the Avatar wraps an arm possessively around her, and studies her with sad eyes. When he leads her to speak with someone else, Katara glances back at Zuko.

But his eyes are on Mai.

So she turns away.

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><p><strong>Real life sucks, yeah? <strong>

**This was my first Avatar FF, so reviews would be really appreciated. **


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